Welcome to my fan studies journey and other endeavors
Never thought I would start a personal newsletter, but at least it's not a podcast(?)
If you actually opened this, thank you. Does that sound desperate? Sure, it might. Unfortunately, I have become an oversharer as a side effect of grad school. Nonetheless, if you have an interest in learning more about fan studies alongside me, then I’m glad you’re here. But before getting into that, I have to be honest about where my journey starts.
Last year I submitted doctoral program applications to pursue further research in mass communications and/or media studies. By March, I was officially rejected by all three programs I applied for… and that sucks. I was conflicted whether or not to reveal this because writing it into existence for other people to know does come with a sense of embarrassment. But now enough time has passed and I learned that getting rejected on your first attempt is common, and that applying for doctoral programs has similar qualities to today’s job hiring market (the networking, optics, etc).
I can understand why I was rejected. On one hand, I am fairly new to the academic research space, and was probably naive in thinking I had potential to do a Ph.D. sooner rather than later. And at this point, it might have to be later. My lack of experience both in research and career, along with applying for programs that were more out of my league than I was made aware of, was a recipe for audacious delusion. Some people will say “but at least you tried” and “it doesn’t hurt to try.” Let’s be real, trying hurts when the end result is rejection that you can’t help but take personally, and that’s the obvious risk one has to be willing to take.
Trying for the purpose of realizing that this first round of applications was a good learning experience will hopefully lead me to a program where I fit and can grow as a fan studies researcher. For now, I have been figuring out how to function as an independent researcher, which has not been an easy journey, and knowing myself, it can and will get lonely. I have been able to attend conferences online and recently attended my first in-person conference; I’m sort of getting my feet wet so to speak. Though I’m overly conscientious of feeling like I bother people if I reach out for guidance. This newsletter is a way to put myself out there, and perhaps help me feel oh so bold to reach out.
If you are in fan studies, media studies and pop culture, and happen to come across this newsletter, then I welcome any and all connections, whether it’s potentially partnering up, giving me guidance/advice, or just to say hi (and commiserate… let’s ride at dawn my fellow Daria Morgendorffers of the world).
But do be warned: I have quite a few ideas for this newsletter, and right now, it might be too much.
My overarching goal is to make sure I don’t give up on my dream of being a researcher/professor one day. When the final rejection arrived to my inbox, I pondered whether it could still be possible for me to achieve said dream. I decided to not apply again this year. I believe it’s in my best interest to continue building my CV with accepted publications and conference appearances; I also might need to prepare for the GRE since I’ve been getting by so far with scores being optional. Even if I delay applying for the next couple of years, I can still use my public relations and fan studies knowledge in the PR/ communications industry in the meantime. All of this is to say that I plan to keep this newsletter going no matter the path I end up taking.
My newsletter goals (in no particular order):
Learn more about fan studies as a field
Share what I’m learning
Share current events in fandom and its connections to the field
Maybe I look into a theory and/or reading each week
Keep up with recent publications
…And (re)visit the classics
Perhaps write notes or reviews
Connect with more researchers, both university-affiliated and independent
Maybe become a platform for other aspiring fan studies scholars to share their experience
Work on my social media presence
BUT I’m not holding myself to being on it constantly
I will RT #CFPs every now and then to help with reach
Write more
Fangirl to my heart’s content
My goals might adjust overtime, and hopefully get less messy (or more messy?) but I believe the Foolish Hearts E-Newsletter will help me take small steps toward my dream. ♥︎
A funny anecdote: I looped Hazbin Hotel’s “Loser, Baby” because it inexplicably became my anthem after my rejections came through... Anyways, would love to work on a Hazbin Hotel research anthology.
Stay tuned as I learn and grow as a fan studies scholar <3
What a wonderful day to be a member of substack.com